Spiritual Community with Vishuddha Das (Koi Fresco) | EP55 @wetheaether

Spiritual Community with Vishuddha Das (Koi Fresco) | EP55 @wetheaether



Khoi or or is it issued on this is enough okay so when did you actually change or update your name about two years now well I was always initiated by my Swami so that was the name he gave me so I kind of took that up I decided like respect and gratitude for him providing me that okay which Swami Swami sarva-dehinam day yeah very nice so just to kick things off you mind introducing yourself or this you're involved with yeah so my name is Rashad us some people might have known me as quite fresh group for the past few years I essentially teach spiritual philosophy on YouTube for half a million people I've written two educational books one on kind of a journey through my life and where I went the lowest of my personal lows from addiction being in jail to kind of working my way out of that system and out of those toxic mentalities and in a second book on meditation is called the meditation manual so it's a bunch of simple meditation methods and now I continue making videos online and I'm now I doing a bunch of physical in-person workshops and lectures and stuff like that and currently working on my third book very cool like all social media stuff so just to any much in jail there so that is an extreme low I guess a lot of people would say what are you into do you can go where I mean when you're in the midst of it it's obviously it's horrible but you know in retrospect it's you really thankful for because once you hit that rock bottom you really don't have any more fears in life you don't have any more worries about how low you can go because you've been there you've seen the depths of your own situations you can fall into I got a a DUI with injury when I was 18 it was the week I turned 18 so I don't have an 18 for a few days and I had a friend the car and they got hurt and because of that the system where I lived in Florida is very conservative it's very wants to make examples of you I was made an example up so I spent a year in jail because of that charge and that was you know my first major major transformation I guess you would say it wasn't as it during the time I was in jail and when I was in there I was like oh yeah this is this is great I hated every minute of it you know it was a very difficult time but in retrospect it was the first time I ever had the ability to really or the chance to stop and kind of shelf analyze you know instead of blaming everyone else and being upset with everything else going on around me it was the first time I had the opportunity to really sit with myself and and have to face my own dilemmas my own issues and essentially take responsibility for situations that was in and what did you find like what was that first feeling you had like what when you like door closes and you're like whoa this is real now you know what was that first you you I think pretty much everyone I think there first time in jail and you recognizes the more you good when you when you're in there you see other people coming in once you've had a few months in and you're used to it and everyone has the kind of same reaction it's just it's almost like denial you know you're in there you're in jail and you're on your bunk but your brain is just it does it hasn't accepted it yet so it doesn't it doesn't feel real a lot of people I did it to you kind of just want to try to like sleep it off you know it's such a horrible reality you're not stuck in this box that you just want to lay down and sleep for 12 hours a day but you can only do that for so many days you know you can only try to escape the reality that you're you're faced with for so many days so it was kind of just a kind of like it was one of the first times you have you have a realization of well this is it you know there's no there's no excuses there's no escaping like I have to actually face this and if you've never had it faces a tough situation like that and I really hadn't before that point it was it was just your brain constantly trying to deny the reality of where you are until it finally starts to sink in so it was a really heavy kind of realization to have definitely wasn't fun in the moment when you were you know when I was a pretty crazy it's almost like it would be the extreme meditation retreats to go get put into a 10 by 10 cell and be left with your thoughts you know more devices you know more technology you distract you it's like you got to do the work now you're here in that space things I realized after a couple years being out and I started going to a lot of temples and studying in my temple and I have a lot of friends that are of monks and Brahma charese that live in temples as well and I sort of realized the Horus spent time with memmer was in their temples we were hanging out in the area it made me realize I finally kind of put two and two together like you just said and you realize how much being in jail it's like a temple in a sense in a meditative sense it's very simple white walls the same outfit every single day the same meals five days a week the same people around you consistently you're in this space and you have to basically deal with it as such and find a way to process it and there's no external stimuli distracting you from the moment you're forced to be present wherever you're at yeah I've never been spoken with people here and there that I've been yeah I mentioned excuse me drugs as well what was it like a drawing addiction you were going through yeah well when I was 16 in a one-year period I had two of my close friends both killed so I one was shot to death and one was stabbed to death and it was I lived in it yeah I live in a city or a town where that's like not a thing where that does not ever happen and it just happened to happen back to back within about twelve month periods two people I'd known for quite a long time one of them I'd known since I was you know in second grade so almost a decade and I mean I've never had any of my I mean it – I mean I'm 26 right now I still have all four of my grandparents I've never really lost anyone in my family or close to me so this was the first time that death had really infiltrated my life and I had to accept it as reality at that point in my life I was too young and I was I guess too immature to accept it I had no way to accept that I couldn't understand that I couldn't you know validated or rationalize how it was happening or how it was real especially these young good people so I just I did what a lot of people do is I buy fast so you know I I didn't know how to process and you know how to talk about it my dad wasn't around so I didn't have anybody to Bent to about it so I and turning to drugs and that was my my medium of coping of getting out of that suffering of getting out of that fear and that anxiety over the fact that you know this can happen to anybody in life can be cut short and since I didn't know how to process and I got sucked into different drugs first I was you know smoking weed but then it moved on into prescription medication which was you know the big one that hooks you and that's the dope you did you know epidemic is what we're still facing in America but that was a hold of me and you know about a year of my life I just don't really have any memories from that year because it was every single day I was on these pharmaceutical pills just trying to you know drown out everything so I didn't have to feel at all and I just got to a point where I was taking I was a I got to a point where I was taking a dose that would for the first time you know six foot five 300-pound man would would knock him unconscious and I'm a five I'm five six I barely weigh 135 pounds so I'm not that size and I was taking doses that weren't key I wasn't even feeling it almost so I just had a big realization when I got to that point you know what what am i doing how have I let myself slip this far I used to be very end it being active in sports and stuff like that now going in and you know accepting an embrace of the what's going on here and now and now I've let myself get so far detached from my own emotions of my own processes and my own thoughts that I'm you I'm resorting to these lengths to escape it and I just couldn't do it anymore but it took about a year you know a year of being lost in it for me to really finally get to that breaking point where I could uh thankfully you know learn to push through it what was that like I know you woke up and realize like wow I've been in this dream for the past year and you kind of wake up from it like wow what I love doing it with like one particular incident that let you down that sort of take you out of that state you were being in or was it like a gradual thing meeting up where it's just slowly becoming like I assume you were doing that almost like a numbing type of thing but then at the same time I don't wanna make any assumptions on I know the ego can tend to want to destroy you at the same time it's very self-destructive process we've been going through so what would have been that final last straw it caused you to go through a new transformation of yourself yeah you're definitely corrected the ego definitely does especially with with Downers and barbiturates they're kind of like alcohol you know once you start doing it you start going oh woe is me pity me that means I'll do more and then once I'm drunk oh I'm already drunk so I hate myself even more so acute drinking and pillows work the same way you start doing them then you just like you dislike yourself so you do more and then you realize you've done more so you keep disliking yourself and it's just a slippery slope all the way down but yeah like I said it's pretty much when you start you I was on xanax so my big that was my big kind of addiction was Lizzie annex specifically and when you start you only need about a milligram maybe sometimes 1.5 to have like a really to be really high from it and I got to the point where I was taking five to seven which is like six full pills and that's absolutely ridiculous no one should be taking that much especially not somebody of my body size and like I said that's an amount that you can only reach through continued buildup of tolerance and addictive use so once I got to the point where I realized I was using almost a week's worth when I first started in a single in a single setting was just where my brain and I kind of guess my rational mind kind of snap back in and was like what what is this you know this is ridiculous this is absolutely crazy and I I'm thankful you know I never really had to go to any addiction counseling or anything like that I've just had the ability basically in my life to I think when I realize things are slipping away I can kind of snap back into who I was before or I guess the mentality of getting back into control and not letting it take over and so I basically tapered back down off them over the course of a few days and haven't done them since that's great so if you find a lot of people because you encounter a lot of you online through social media you grab all that stuff you find people go through similar troubles I'd assume when they're abuse people would but you do however a lot of people that have gone through similar circumstances and and how do you find or what's like the typical best advice you can give I mean even someone's listening right now they're experiencing similar taste what piece of advice could you give to someone so that they don't have to wait eight years now out of it maybe they can hear this and then tomorrow morning start to make a little adjustment yeah I think a big thing is to not be ashamed of yourself for being in addiction or being you know it's a mental it's a disease we treat it as a crime or as something that people choose to do but nobody wakes up and goes you know I'm gonna become an addict or I'm gonna I'm gonna get addicted to this or that it's a disease it's something that our mind slips into so a big thing for a lot of people is that they don't talk about it because they feel constantly judged in a shame and I meet tons of people and that's why I'm very open you know talking about my addiction in my past because I want people to realize that not everyone is perfect you know we all go through our trials and tribulations in life net we can all come out on the other end and survive and not only survive but thrive so a big thing is to first of all not not feel shame in the fact that you might be dealing with a certain addiction it's natural it's human you know some people are addicted to pills other people are addicted to Pepsi other people are addicted to watching you know Rush Limbaugh on Fox or watching c-span we all have addictions but if you have an addiction to a compound that's kind of pulling you down and you feel a shame from that you feel ashamed because of it you're gonna keep on using it because you'll since you feel that shame you won't want to admit this is a thing that can change and it'll kind of place you into that victim mode or you can sense continuously go like I said well this sucks I'm already here what was me I'll just keep doing it like you can stop and realize okay look I have an addiction I admit that the big thing is admitting it first of all to ourselves I see that I have these big dependencies I'm not ashamed by it I realize this is a mental disease that means I had the ability now to look at it from a light where I'm not hating myself for being here but just realizing that I am here being you're looking at it from a neutral Vantage and when you can start to do that a little bit more it makes it easier to reach out and speak to others or to do research on how I can move out of this or what practices I can partake in to replace it you know a big thing I tell people is you're not just trying to cold turkey stop your addiction a lot of times with certain especially a prescription medication you can't do that it can kill you alcohol as well you can't just go cold turkey it has that withdrawal effect so a lot of times my advice is to replace addiction you know addiction usually stems from most really who have addictions have addictive personalities it's just the nature of the mind I have an addictive personality myself so when I get into something I enjoy it I really get into it and I make it a consistent thing and I understand that I use that to my advantage now for my own spiritual journey and for my own growth and development in different ways and all the activities I do now such as rock climbing and snowboarding and stuff I'm definitely addicted to those things I love them but that's a big thing is you replace the unhealthy addictions with the healthy addictions you're not trying to deny the fact that you have addictions you're trying to transform them into progressive ways of acting like any CEO or builder of a business or spiritual aspirant it's a very deep another practice it's nothing to do they're just casual people trying these things and doing these things casually there's an addiction there there's a consistent diving into and loving and embracing and wanting to always be doing this whether it's success monetarily or liberation spiritually transforming that that nature of wanting to interact with something from a destructive and deadly compound into a healthy productive either lifestyle or or object of interest to something whether unhealthy or healthy but just like you you just get so accustomed to doing something yeah a little-little Hanako just recently a kind of caffeine in mornings because I was pounding back like four coffees before you know 1:00 p.m. and it's like I had to kind of step back and be like maybe I should like adjust this a bit because it's not it can't be healthy and it's funny after like two days I started going through caffeine withdraws just something so simple right and I've even gone I think it's the smell of the morning – this is all part of that like human tendency to just get like to attach to something clinging on to something like oh that's that's tennis buried right so I decided to start just trying D hats so now I've eliminated the actual caffeine aspect but I'm doing the deep coffee because I like the taste in the smell I'm still getting that aroma I think it's the next step from there just being wake up only power back water a not even bother was the deep path but it's like a progressive stage thing for me I just wanted a really interesting because like so quickly you get addicted to something and so when have those withdrawal symptoms like within 48 hours I had like headaches I was sweating I couldn't get to sleep that night like just absolutely crazy so do you have actually before we have some questions here as I mentioned but create is not I did want to ask you about we're on addictive stuff I know you've been putting off a lot of content about the use of applications social media mobile devices this is like really the new global addiction right and I think I saw a video that you put up just recently about the dating app swiping yeah I think for the most part I mean psychologically there's lots of tests and the problem with dating apps is that you it's very easy to create a fallacy in your mind to support it because I found my partner on there and they're great or why well I met an amazing person we were married now and that's a validation that doesn't you know really stem from illogical points it's an individual specific random occurrence but in the majority field and I myself I used to use dating apps for it for a couple of years on a psychological level studies showed that the problem with dating apps and the reason they're so destructive to us in the long run is because of two reasons one they create a a men they basically drop us into what's known as commoditized you psychological kind of perspective where by using these apps you are treating people like a product you know obviously when we're out in the world and we're interacting of course we're gonna see attractive people and instantly we'll commoditize them slowly but we're not looking at every single person or every single female or every single male as a commodity we're seeing them as people as a grandmother as a employee as a server all these different things and then every once in a while someone catches our eye and we go oh I like that person they're interesting when we're using dating apps we're consistently on a daily level for sometimes you know 10 maybe other people would on it for 50 minutes so imagine that you're specifically training your brain to see people as a commodity I don't like them because they can't give me this maybe they can give me this they can maybe they can maybe they can you know their looks I can get something out of that maybe I can get pleasure from her or him I can't and its training your brain to see people as products so you're not seeing them as an individual as a soul as a human as a beautiful vibrant changing you know adaptation of conscious nature you're just seeing them as ooh product a relationship product of sex product of my own pleasure yes or no and that's it and so it's over time it starts that starts coming out of the app and into your daily life so it's almost like you're kind of it's taking this commoditized viewing out of a program and bringing it into waking life which can be really unhealthy to be going about your daily life judging everyone on that basis the very unconscious and you know very selfish foundation to allow your mind to fall into you know we obviously see commodities as commodities because that's what they are we treat everything like that we're on Amazon all the time trying to figure out do I want this shoe or these shoes or this toothbrush or this soap but it's different when it comes to living organisms you know that that is a really hard barrier to pass once we start setting that line of thinking into the mind or allowing it to resonate or become a reality to us where we always see people that way and that's a big problem to start off again from monetizes everyone instead of just certain people were attracted to in waking life I guess you'd say naturally but the second problem and the reason that I especially had to stop using it is because it's it basically solidifies a thought in the mind that makes you you think I am incomplete where I am now I don't have enough where I am now I am partially empty a big thing about spiritual practice is that you have to come to understand your wholeness your divinity your fullness as you are right now the divine that is in you is in everyone and unless you feel completely comfortable alone where you are you're always going to be living in a codependent style whether that's with a parent or a friend or a relationship you're going to be needing them or clinging to them or longing for them or jealous or worried all these different toxic emotions that holds you down they're going to continue coming up because you feel as if you're not enough as you are and so if you're not at the point where you can sit back and go I love where I am I'm totally good being single I'm okay where I am if you can't do that you're gonna have a lot of problems and so people are okay by themselves that's natural we see and we're taught all the time especially social media about all these celebrity relationships and these beautiful couples on Instagram they're always together and so a lot of people think of they need that they have to have that and so when you download an app like that again you're spending 10 to maybe 50 minutes a day looking at all these potentials and thinking I don't have that yet you know here's that they might complete me they might complete me all what if I got what if I was with them what if that was my life what I want a dream and then it doesn't pan out and when those conversations fizzle out or the date doesn't go well it drops you farther into your incompleteness because you're meeting in talking to briefly all these potential partners or potential completions to your life or potential puzzle pieces to fill you and that's the thing that again it takes a long time to break out of that thought process if you let it become a normality in your life so by utilizing these apps we're not just starting to see people from up from a very egotistical selfish perspective as commodities but we're also starting to see ourselves as not enough how we are and so it doesn't matter how much you practice fierce or how much self work you do if you're going home and using these apps you're still going to feel empty and you're still going to see people in a selfish line of what I can personally gain not of what I can get or what I can team up to do and so you can't you can't find productive independence in these places it just does not work it creates codependency that's why they exist is because they bring co-defendants together so they can have something and the more you use it even if you are independent and more you use these apps the more it brings you out of in dependency and kind of retrain your brain to be codependent because it wants you to use these apps they don't exist because they're not addicted they exist and they're so big because using them is addictive and because it retains the brain in that way yeah it's like really muddies the water a lot too when you get these shots of dopamine and serotonin every time you pop open something and you see the light so you see the messages or whatever it's like it's a positive reinforcement to an addictive tendency that's not overall not healthy I love you address the fact that it's like so contradictory to you to think you're whole or to be claiming yourself as both then to also seek external validation and to get that from you know these absent and why not I'm actually I've been with my whiten up her own 11 years almost 12 years now and it's interesting because you even mentioned leave me alone this aspect and sometimes I even being in a relationship I have to check myself because like if I'm out I have a tendency to get angry so that's like one thing that I'd be very mindful of like I get triggered very easily frustrated with society myself you know as many people do but what I'm at I almost feel like sometimes I I want to have my wife with me because then I want to say makes me less angry yeah when I even do that I'm claiming I'm not whole right thing that I eat is here to keep me in a balanced harmonious state so they can it can happen in all sorts of ways whether you're single whether you're in a relationship it all just comes down to viewing yourself as total complete and whole and then and then resting in that and I think if you have that foundation then I think it's healthy to go and use as someone others and meet people but as long as there's that foundational wholeness that you experience within yourself would you agree with that to which aspect well basically as long as you have a foundation of feeling full and and comfortable in your own skin kind of like we were saying you're like I'm here I'm happy you know I'm I always like to think the default view of the state is one of listen love and everything outside of that is just really delusion and confusion and you know it doesn't so I guess I'm I'm asking if someone does so much inner work that they try to think like there's a great aspect of these apps and technologies because you can meet people kind of like what you were saying earlier I think be right what's a healthy way to use these things even social media like these we initially spoke on social media and now we're having this conversation this is very healthy right I would say so yeah you can you can go down another wraparound where I could evolve your profile with your things like oh look at this spiritual yeah something I hate this guy right and Jenna mind will do that and play these games on you so there's a negative so positive as well like I'm asking like from your experiences you're very immersed in social media do you have that having this base of feeling full for this inner work that you do gives you a good groundedness to work from so that you can at least start to use these technologies or in a more healthy way what you're saying I think the difference that I totally agree and that's why I tell people you know it's it's difficult to blend social media and spiritual self and to have that wholeness without it if you don't feel as if your whole using these social apps you should work on that first I think the difference though with things like dating apps compared to just being on Twitter or Instagram or Facebook is that the foundation so the foundation of say twitter or instagram is interactions right that you interact consistently but there's no kind of expected interaction there's no expectations placed upon that you can meet friends and have random conversations and have a discourse or have an argument those exists over all these different apps because there's tons of different topics and tons of different things always happening on them the problem with things like dating apps is that their expectation 'el so they're they're conditioned that you basically go on the app with an expectation of I want this and I want you to give me this and since you're here you probably want this and you want me to give you this and so it creates what I consider that's a very unhealthy dynamic to have is it's an expectation before ever meeting so it's basically you're going into this with an idea of what you're expecting to get in treating these people and seeing yourself based on these lights versus when you use kind of regular social media I guess are ones that aren't placed on exact specifications of expectations when you're on like Twitter or Instagram you can just have these conversations and you can meet people organically you know Twitter Twitter Instagram are kind of like being at the bar being at a club or being at an event or a conscious event or a meditation Meetup and in real life it's kind of like oh here's a group of people in a certain sorrell cool i meet you we talk we become friends or we end up going on a date or something it happens more naturally dating apps are kind of more like speed dating you know what I mean it's like okay we're both here because we really want to have a relationship or we want to have sex we want to feel validated or complete make it work if you can't you get upset right you get frustrated and if you can and great and it lasts for a while but maybe it doesn't last forever so there's a different approach going on because of the expectation we'll basis and that's why I think it's it's healthier to just utilize the apps where there is no foundational expectations there's tons of different things going on in a social sense almost like a watering hole for for any potential on these uh mainstream apps versus dating apps where it's very limited as a specific reason a specific point and a specific expectation attached to it you can't be in a spiritual path using these apps but I think you can very easily be pulled out of your practice and pulled out of your own completeness really quick because of the the ego hits your body and mind can take being on zaps like you said getting those notifications oh they like me and then it doesn't go anywhere they don't reply oh they don't like me you know it's it's a very hot it's a very high and low very high but not high vibration but very fluctuating experience for the emotions and that's not always really healthy to have that consistently in your face you know for for 20 plus minutes a day mm-hmm yeah I imagine it would start to really SAP your energy I'm not like long-term personal gain you know projects you're working on or inner work you're doing like anything like that they're gone so do you have any meditative practice that you want some a two day basis or maybe if you do retreats or yeah yeah I have my for a second it's just I do a mixture of japa meditation or mullah meditations I guess you'd say on my java beads which is chanting the mantra that allows your mind to drop in a singular point of focus or they're on all right yeah I do Joppa meditations on my beads and then Insight Meditation which is essentially the negation of the material self or I guess of the defined self the limit itself it's stripping away all the potentials that are limited until all that remains is the infinite truth of what non-google practice which is the tradition I practice in as non-duality advice Abaddon says it's called and uh so that's mainly the two practices I do the most well in the mornings I like to treat it kind of is like a mental workout so it's a very relaxed relaxing thing I'm not trying to do anything I'm just into her presence but in the mornings I tried treated as mental meditation of the practice but I do my round I'll do my insight and I'll ask these questions they'll cost relate to myself no negate as they call it a name and form and erase that slowly work back to my source and really gonna ask a bit more about this and actually was just people with someone had asked earlier today and I was talking about one of mine that has good practices we're all do it in the morning and I'll be in the shower cut it down down and it is very similar like you described there I feel I can get to a point of a complete dissolving itself yeah and it's only I always have this visualization of the doorway or a passageway that I have to cross through this beyond this barrier to be greeted by this this higher energy let's call it I need to say higher self I'm not really a fan of that phrase but I always feel like this this energy is just radiant love and it completely dissolves everything I've come to know of myself adds to self you know like everything is just completely gone in some cases all is really left is just this centre of beating heart which is also in resonance with that radiant energy coming for you so it's like they come together in Union and it's like this is all that's left in truth you know everything else all the external things all the thought that crossed me and the 15 minutes leading up to that sort of transcendental state it's like all those things are just washed away be gone so the cool you you it sounds like you have a similar type of practice reach that state every day or you find that like some days you don't quite get there but you know you still feel elated anyway yes some day every day is different that's why I love meditation is it's not some consistent thing it's very dependent on like you could for some reason you can you some days you can wake up and drop right into the other days you wake up and you you can't and that's why it's so good so helps you kind of work with whatever is going on sub consciously or unconsciously you don't really have a hold on that you can't really see just yet it depends on the day it's it's pretty easy what the more you do it's kind of like a workout you know it's really easy to do it the more you do it the easier it gets the more it becomes a natural state of continuing to go through the motions the big thing you have to watch out for and I have to remind myself of is not just walking through the motions is like yeah I'm everything you know I'm one with everything and do I really feel that do I know that experientially am I getting there or am I just kind of skipping through this meditation and rushing through it and not really working my way to it so it's almost a practice that meditations that can sometimes be a practice of my own patience to allow myself to really work there because when when the barricades come up I try to really make sure that I worked through it versus just saying oh yeah you know I want to feel that I know I'm not that I understand it conceptually so I can continue to move forward I think that's a hard thing for a lot of us is a when we get into any kind of practice we get familiar with it and that when we get familiar we get a little bit lazy get lazy we start to lose the progress we were making beforehand we don't think seriously it's like the magic of it seems to dissipated because you're just getting through it well those determined psychology called like adaptation but it pretty much means that no matter how bad or how good things get any practice we do no matter how great it is or how horrible it is eventually we the body mind and complex reaches a state of stasis of equilibrium so this is why people who you know people that can be extremely poor have the same kind of natural level of day-to-day contentment as billionaires in their private jets you know being into being a private jet your first time is it mind blowing experience but when you're taking a private jet every single day across the country it becomes very mundane you feel the same way that somebody in a broken-down Civic feels being stuck on the 405 going to work and that's just how the mind works and we get caught in that we get lost in it so any practice can you can fall into that whether it be yoga or meditation or again personal insights you can fall into a place of just complacency and not thinking about it and not honoring it and not realizing you're having gratitude from the practice so that's why it's really important to be continuously aware if you're doing this you know to be mindful enough to ask yourself am I just going through the motions or am I actually going into this practice because if we don't ask ourself that we can get lost in it really easily billionaire and claim that it almost works the same for social media like like first and you probably experiencing you first start a YouTube channel or answer got a cup you get like five lights I'm like sorry baby but all of a sudden you're just like desensitized like hundreds of thousands of likes and comments and it was just like whoa and if you were ask someone that is not that active on social media like they probably are experienced in those five times like if they were to receive that just like I'm sure you post something it's like your phone almost like overheats sometimes right like just the amount of engagement yeah completely desensitizing just similar to like I'm gonna mean in their Honda because I remember when I had a smaller phone I used to think oh well when I get a you know that beer following it's always wanting more right it's always trying to crave more and even when it comes to the medaka meditation like you could start to think that what you were doing is no longer working it's not you're just not putting yourself into it so you know I got I got a lot of people that ask like how do I start meditating and it's not and I love you said it's like lifting up a weight and just practicing training but it's not something that you're just gonna be like Buddhist day one you know like this takes like decades years like I've interviewed here Lama Surya Dawson and I think he's absolutely amazing extremely insightful I've even spoken with Ron dass as well I didn't record it that one just smiling at it like like an hour and a half and smiling each other's presence you know it's obviously it's speech stroke but these are these are like really great teachers and that's actually why I reached out to you but I saw you talking with I don't know if it was Ron boss or Robin Marcus or one of those guys you love not perfect yet very cool we get lost in what we have because we don't practice gratitude right we're not present enough to see the beauty of what is and so the ego mind takes over and starts to judge it again you know I noticed that's why you people don't understand when they it's it's one of those things that you can't understand until you're in the midst of it which a lot of us are unconsciously it's you know how can this person have millions of followers and millions of dollars and hate their life well it's because they're not being mindful of what is going on around them the same way that the same with millionaires hate their life is the same way that people that are in poverty if they like they're not satisfied with what's going on around them they want more they want change they want difference they want this thing that's just outside their reach everyone seeks that when we're not being mindful we're not being grateful for what's right here you know I noticed that too with myself like you said the more you create content the more your channels grow and the more you go but when I get to this many followers so in my videos and my podcasts are getting that many views then I'll be set and then you hit that point you go oh but what about when they get this name what if they even though yeah I got to a point like a year and a half ago where you know I would get I would get mad at it I remember I remember when I first started making videos that I blew my mind when my first video got a thousand years she knows when I had a video that got you know five thousand views in a day it was like it was a crazy sing of her is the most amazing thing and then I got to a point a few months ago where I would get upset it's the first day my videos didn't get 10 to 20 views 10 to 20 thousand and I had to stop me like what are you doing you're being ridiculous you know that that's more views than I could have ever thought of in my in my life that people will be turning into this kind of content that's mind-blowing and so I had to kind of return to my roots and really meditate on that as you know being grateful for every single view I don't care if a video gets 5 views or if it gets 500,000 there it's just as important it's not worth any less no I'm not worth any less because of these these these material expectations and these little linguistic terms I'm attaching my meaning to so it's a good reminder to be in mindfulness in to practice that and to realize when you're getting caught up in these roles and these these titles and in these little non sequiturs yeah I'm glad you're so aware of several clients like it's like sometimes a daily thing is like oh I didn't get to use and so have you had any psychedelic experiences either going on retreats if you like ayahuasca or you know magic mushrooms I mean I think mushrooms if you've done those because now they're coming into life as being like therapeutic more so and decriminalize a lot of places yeah Dan Denver and Oakland just decriminalized psilocybin completely which is great I'm going to Denver actually and a few weeks for part of my tour so we'll see what goes on there but I was actually sober for five years until the beginning of 2019 is past year and since then I before that you know I was in high school and stuff I I partook in mushrooms in LSD and you know 25 and 25 see in these chemical compounds and then but I didn't use them consciously they had profound effects but I wasn't going into them with like oh man I'm gonna dive into this meditate have insightful experience it was more like I'm gonna take psychedelics you know it was a very unconscious approach to it so in my mind while I was sober actually I kind of built up this this unconscious resistance because I was in a natural state of practice for so long you know I was wanting to really dive into my practice without any I guess I wouldn't say veils but without any transformers and said how I would explain like things that change my perception I wanted to go where I could naturally and see what I could discover in meditation than in my own insights my own practice naturally and after a few years doing that I realized I had I wanted to go back to again now that I've gotten to a place where I feel like I'm doing a lot of growth and change let's see what I can learn from these teachers from these compounds and so I got back into taking LSD a few times and then I went to Australia in February in March and I stayed on the almond farm in eco village in Australia in February and they have heaps of cows all over the place so it's it's a it's a krishna village it's a hindu temple in village and all the cows there are non violent cows they don't kill the cows they don't slop and they don't eat any meat all they do is milk them when their children are ready and that's pretty much it they use the milk for a pro Sodom stuff like the holy food the gods and the deities but other than that the cows I get free roam they eat organic food all day long so that they're as happy as a cow could possibly be and on these farms psilocybin mushrooms grew in the thousands so in every cow pie there were 10 to 20 different psilocybin mushrooms they're called they're called Blue Meanies in Australia but so I spent about a month a month or so taking anywhere from one to three grams of magic mushrooms every other day and pulling about my meditative practice going to temple going to classes being part of this community doing kirtan doing meditation and being with myself and working with them and it was one of the most profound months of my life so far to really rebuild this connection with psychedelic teachers and that's what I saw them as no that's what I realized when I want you to do it with pure intentions when I cleared my mind of any expectations from these mushrooms that they literally are just teachers their teachers on a different paradigm that we don't really understand consciously yet they talk to you they they provide these information they open gateways to your own mind and heart that I never had the potential to open and you know five years of natural practice which is fine you get different insight some different lessons from different places and different things and that was a big big experience and an important experience for me was realizing you know how much these these mushrooms have to offer how much good they can do and how much they can help you when they're done with your intentions and with conscious ability when you know your dosage especially so it was really great to have that experience and to be able to see the teachings that lie in these natural compounds that grow in the ground idea symbology and they have a low 30 heads and they almost look like mushrooms yeah I actually asked a professor that studies in researching psilocybin and whatnot and he wasn't really able to speculate much because he's like well I don't know about all that stuff so I want to get your thought on it like do you think that they have so much I guess heritage in our in our human civilization that they are depicted in a lot of artwork because there just aren't that powerful that transformative or people yeah I think that's definitely possible I would even go to say that maybe they draw those as kind of representation of like the auras that come on with you oh when you're on psychedelics you can kind of you can't I've seen insane or as a lobby boy yeah recognize this like this energetic kind of spectrum around people and around things and that's what you know what something Hinduism is like Laguna's the the qualities of matter and energy is ramas tamas rajas tamas and satva and saga was the purest and so that's why you know when you go into a dirty bathroom you feel like you know Temasek energy negative energy but when you go like a temple or a yoga studio or any like your your your space at home your room you feel that kind of seismic energy and so I think mushrooms especially kind of show that but a big thing that we speculated at this kind of I was there with lots of people too we all had you know deep mushroom conversations about all these different philosophies and potentials and in India the cow is worshipped very heavily so the cow is the most divine animal that can exist in India you know in normally pretty much there's I think of billion plus people are vegetarian because they don't eat meat they don't eat cows you know when you're in northern India you you cannot if you kill a cow they'll kill you you know that's how sacred the cow is is that you don't mess with the cow if there's traffic and the cows in the way you maybe try to shush it out of the way but you don't try to push it or hit it you just let them do their thing so I think that where that might have started thousands of years ago is because there's a specific and in the in ancient Hindu texts in the Mahabharata there's a specific forget the word but it's like it was like a magical elixir that like gave people these spiritual insights and powers and I'm pretty sure it was mushrooms that they'd grown into a drink but that was kind of where the cow became originally a very spiritual symbol you know even Shiva Shiva's bull is called Nandi and Nandi is basically the vahana or the vehicle that Shiva rides into battle it carries him it's a bull and it's it's sacred because of that and I think one of the reasons is because these mushrooms grow and cow pies because for some reason the contents of the cows two stomachs creates the perfect kind of environment for those those spores to fall into and process through and grow out of in these cow pies so you can imagine imagine thousands of years ago being you know in the hills of India and these beautiful majestic animals for some reason their dome creates the most transformative psychedelic medicine of all time you know I would worship the cows if I discovered that I worship the cows now is it the temple because I wake up every day and there be new mushrooms that are there cow pies you know why wouldn't you that's beautiful they're creating anima for you to access this consciousness our God if you want to call it that in a new light just by virtue of their their physical manifestations so I think that's really where one of our hypothesis was that maybe that's why they yeah let's do it my back that's all good I think you you left off with the causal one not so I actually did a question about that so I noticed something you posted a video where you're feeding how like carrots right and so you find well first of all did you grow up in an environment where you were like around nature around animals or even more like a typical cities have an environment like a lot of people that's part one of my question the second one is you find a lot of benefit in getting out in in the forest in nature and this is actually becoming a lot more popular now like forest bathing nature raiding there's studies around it that it can actually help alleviate a lot of depression so the first part is did you grow up in that type of environment and the second part is did you find yourself being called or drawn more into that yeah I didn't grow up around nature really I grew up in kind of like small cities mainly I mean when I was really little I grew up kind of my grandfather's going on I travel a lot growing up during the summer and stuff but I was young so you know I was very into video games and being on like my gameboy and stuff so we I don't regret it now cuz I'll be able to visit all these places again as an adult but when I was young you know we go to all these different great places around the u.s. and I just stay in the camper and like play pokemon or I have like my Digimon cards and different stuff and just I just wouldn't be aware of what was going on I didn't have a major draw to it and yeah growing up I was just living in these small towns you know these these I'll explain it just these these it's a very American thing you know to have these kind of four corner gridded layouts of cities that are built around their cbs's and Walgreens and there there's strip malls and they're all community living and all the houses are the same that's kind of where I grew up very a very artificial place you know where everything is the same and you go into all your friends live in one of like six communities and you go into the communities and like I said every house is the same so there wasn't really any connection and nature besides my dogs and my cats and the random birds and animals you'd see around you every once in a while so I never really had a deep connection or access to it but the more I've gotten older the more I've realized how much love nature and being out in the woods and I mean at this point right now I was just traveling for six plus months overseas and I definitely agree I think being in nature absolutely is one of the most healing healing properties we have available to us on a match for a level it is absolutely transcendental how power click and it can be for our mental health and our awareness you know there's there's so many different factors that it could be a whole discussion in its own right you know how we are affected by the cities we live in or the societies we live in whether the artificial light or Wi-Fi or microwaves or 4G cell phones and all these different things that consistently bombard and convoluted us all these the noise of cars and of machinery and all this stuff going on and when you give back to the natural way of things I don't mean like going and living in a cave but I mean when you're out in nature in your round you're around running creeks and water and animals and and brush and with the tree and listening to things naturally just being in a space where everything flows in harmony versus being so aggressively interacted you you feel it right away you feel it instantly the moment you get anyway I don't think there's a single person who who can be standing in front of you know a beautiful waterfall or next to a running Creek and it's just like Oh gross you know it's mainly when people are in those phases and they don't like it it's usually because of a program position like oh I don't want to get sweaty or I don't want to like mess up my makeup right or like I don't want to crinkle the the crease in my shoe or something it's a very programmed thought process but naturally everyone loves being in nature you know it's white people tour and travel the world is they want to see different natural wonders and different beautiful things in a lot of cases so I think you know nature is an extremely healing property and that's that's really how I felt in Australia too is I spent a lot of time you know in this eco community where we would all go and skinny-dip in these beautiful giant rivers and jump off of a rock waterfalls into these lakes and just hang out and sunbathe and talk for hours and it was a very natural way of living that felt so transcendental and so much more grounded in reality than any other form of relationship or friendship I've ever cultivated on a material level or all you do is all these different material activities in here you're constantly judging and trying to prove yourself and validate yourself the more you are in nature especially with people the more you act Alessa ego tends to have to try to prove itself or make itself known as some independent important figure which is what we're talking for three and a half years so I'm very my own personal life I feel connected with the animals I love being around and feeding them and just watching them and witnessing you know I live where I live in Montana right now there are deer everywhere so they come in our backyard and you can sit there and watch the deer and you know they'll come up and eat corn off the ground and stuff and it's just beautiful to watch nature play naturally versus uh I guess being locked away from it and not having access to that to go on nature Trachsel trails but they give me kind of similar excuses you just a second Ola oh there's bugs oh there's too much Sun it's like I don't understand what you think nature is like there's bugs there's Sun there's dirt play like I don't know it's like they've built up the artificial so much so that they think like that's the new reality and then anything outside of that is just obscuring and weird to them so these are issues with depression so it's like you know it's just a tricky thing to try to convince someone it's like you as a childhood as a teenager remember baby playing your video game like how do you get in there and say hey like knock the kid on the head and you might get your ass outside you know like what what do you really do – and that's why I think these conversations are important because I certainly hope anyone listen would would have just understood the importance based I want you to subscribe it actually getting out and going into nature so I think these conversations are great for that but just just Brendan my question what would you in the sense you in your state now if you were lying back to that teenager playing a game what would you say to get him up and and I know how kids are they ignore you but I mean what would you say to get them up and out the door you know it can be hard sometimes you know we have a lot of resistance that we're taught and we're built into but I think a big thing is just allowing helping people realize a big thing for me you realize the more you do it how fun it is like you said oh there's sweating there's bugs people don't realize how fun it is one you break through the mold of having to be a certain way or keep up an appearance how fun it is to get down and dirty and be in nature like it's fun as hell to sweat and be covered in dirt and to be trekking through mud and it sounds like sometime I think that sounds gross I don't want to do that it's like you don't know because you haven't done it if you go do it and you let go of all these these walls you have to put up you realize how liberating how fun it feels how enjoyable it is to go barefoot through these waterfalls and run through and like smear mud on your face and like hang out in these rivers it's it's awesome it's a very natural thing to want to be part of the land and to integrate with it I think for me a big thing was that you have to show them that they can enjoy it with someone else – you can't be kinda like go enjoy nature you know if you 1500 kids on his his xbox or something who's interacting with other people and having a good time and so I'm hey you go have fun by yourself it's like what am I gonna do yeah so a big thing is having the ability to do with others I think it's a really helpful thing yeah I think that's a big thing for me too is I had it I have a sister but we weren't really we weren't really friends when you're growing up we're kinda like sibling rivalries so we didn't never go do activities together but I think definitely I would have gotten out of it differently if I had a brother or something where we were always going out and going on adventures together so it depends on how you're raised and who you have around you to experience it with but it definitely becomes a lot easier and a lot more enjoyable when you have more people to do as a christopher mccandless said happiness is only real when shared and that applies to nature too if you really want to enjoy it you have to be able to enjoy it with others that really makes it very easy to see how enjoyable and how entertaining it can be yeah I don't judge people who I mean there's it's not saying that you can't I I have an xbox as well I like to play video games sometimes I play for is there sometimes it's fun you can have both you can enjoy both it's just not saying I don't like that ever I won't even give it a chance it's about finding a balance really you know finding a balance and finding fun because there's there's so much to life you don't have to limit yourself to any one way of being or any one way of enjoyment that's alright that's what I learned especially now that I've been out in traveling is you can find tens if not hundreds of ways to consistently enjoy life whether it means not saying no before you try it I don't knock it before you try it that's a big thing yeah there's a whole life theory around like the yes theory dislike just to do right and experience things then make your decision after that perhaps have you seen Yes Men hey Jim Jim Carrey yes he was a really big inspiration for me when I was traveling I was gonna last movies I watched before I got on a plane to travel for six months and I made it part of my goal was like I'm gonna say yes to everything no matter what it is you know it's really easy when you're comfortable and you're inside and you're you're warm you're chilling it's easy to be like nah no thank you but you don't know what you're missing out on you know what do you know what you're gonna get by saying now why don't you go discover what you might be able to have fun with and try uh by saying yes that was big for me was just say yes to life go experience things go try things get out of your comfort zone and see what she would discover yeah I think there's great benefit like lurk like lurking and waiting there you do it even this conversation we're having you said yes to speaking and in doing so who knows how many lives are going to be affected by a conversation like you you'll never the mind thinks that can understand all possibilities and variances but it can't it can it can barely grasp up 1% fraction of what's going to come of you saying yes is that the whole point of it is just to do it and then be completely open to that 99% that your life if not even the biggest memories you have the moments you'll keep with you forever are the ones that happen outside of the plans you make that's the biggest thing I learned from traveling is that all the most memorable things that have me over the past were things that at no point could I ever have written down or planned this is what I'm gonna do to have this memory it happened because I said yes and because I put myself out there and went had fun and these these random crazy life-changing one-of-a-kind experiences just happen by virtue of being out in the world experience there was actually someone else I was speaking to you and he has a podcast as well you hear a lot a lot of podcasts and this James Thomas Brown he started his podcast because his brother committed suicide and he was feeling extremely depressed and isn't that and to combat this depression he was feeling he basically said yes got on a bicycle and frosty like rode across the entire United States yeah he's doing speaking like different states and talking to people about his experience and it's like that little ship that he and now he has a podcast where he interviews people and you know he's just helping people so it's crazy you can go from being like oh your brother killed himself you dyed your completely depressed you're in a room you don't know what to do but you just you just take that step and you just say yes get on a bike and you just go try and that his life is completely changed like it's not a complete different direction then it may have gone prior to that so I think it's it's really important especially now for for a lot of the teenagers and the kids growing up in this current current day and age I'm not sure if you're familiar about like ASMR videos on soap opera because like all people that they're not going out and experiencing the world and textures and say just like let me get this screen here and simulate the whole thing it's very strange and it's blowing up in popularity and I think it's because like people yearn to have this experience there's that word experience but it I don't know if it's fear like what do you think it is that it's very fear based people especially as someone who teaches and I do private sessions with clients a lot to it is once you get into really real I mean it's different for what you're creating a podcast once you start making something and realizing you can do all these different things it blows the floodgates open before you do that it's it's really interesting how many people completely don't believe they can achieve or do anything as they are and they don't realize that everyone else has ever achieved or created I don't anything has done as they are people highly underestimate their potential in their abilities to enjoy life to find things they enjoy to have fun to experience to create to do anything really we've really been taught to not step out of the box or take chances or just do it enjoy what you have you know versus going out and discover putting yourself out there and I think that's that's not one of the things where you know technology's great but also like you said it it can find you to what matters and what's important as this as this little box and that anything you need will be right here and it's like yeah a lot of stuff is right here but there's also an entire planet outside of the room you're in or outside of that screen that has infinitely more potentials for you to access as well and it's just about it's all comes down to I think right now in this day and age instant gratification that's the problem is that I can get a little bit of enjoyment right away from this phone but do I really want to put in the effort to go hike or to go put my shoes on and drive thirty minutes or you know all these things that are totally normal to the generation before us for us is a completely new thing because we have an option of why not to do that before it was like well obviously you're going to go do that because if not you're gonna either stay home and twiddle your thumbs if you don't now we have an actual outlet that gives us an excuse not to go out and experience or to create or innovate or to enjoy so that's the big difference is we have there's an excuse in front of us and well it does like I said I use my phone a lot I create on social media there's great things there but that doesn't mean you should let it control any any other aspect of your life it doesn't mean actually show you off and going out and enjoying the world or making the most of life in any way you can retreats where you actually get groups together and you like yeah I just started so I'm hosting my first major seven-day retreat this October and Goa India so if anyone wants that information it's on my website for dot-com I'll be hosting my first retreat there it's almost sold out I think we have four spots left three spots left so it's pretty much almost there I'm also doing right now a tour in the West Coast for July and August so I'll be on the awaken today tour it's a kind of workshop masterclass I'm hosting for two to three hours you need in like six different cities and again that's on my website as well that's why I have like 20 plus seats there but I love doing physical tactile experiences I've been speaking at festivals for the past couple years and now I'm just transitioning into hosting retreats and I'll be doing one States eventually probably in January and uh I've either a Tucson or Sedona Arizona as I'll be hosting my first United States retreat on these philosophies and experiencing life and getting out there and maximizing through every potential you know work love play spirituality nature all those different things but I love teaching in a tactile sense you know it's great to teach online but I really love the most is being in front of a crowd of people and being able to interact with people directly you can feel on a different emotional level and energetic level to you know in person with your exchanging these chemicals I mean we don't see them but you don't get that from these again like I said gratification people not appreciating what they create a line or where the ability we have to interact with that you can't feel that energetic exchange at all it's not there you know I can I can make a video and have 30,000 views but my brain doesn't it can't comprehend without the emotional experience or tactile experience just how many people that is watching a video you know it's and I blow your mind because you know I'll go I did an event in Austin Australia about three months ago and I spoke to my biggest crowd yeah which is about 250 people and it was scary it was I was blown away by how many people just 200 people is and so it was an amazing event you know I really enjoyed it I loved it it was great I interact with a lot of great people but your brain doesn't comprehend how many people how much energy that is to be around and to be presenting to work with especially we're all in that space together sharing the same intentions so it made me really appreciate a lot more all the online numbers you know that define the channels and the videos and then the content you create we're in a very fast-paced time right now so I'm gonna ask you two years where do you see yourself or perceive yourself being know two years time years time hmm I see myself traveling as I have been I just now started traveling kind of full-time I'm only back to the summer to do this summer Benten to get ready for the indian retreat but i really just see myself continuing to do what I'm doing now which is creating content online creating books and workshops and hopefully traveling full-time around the world hosting these events and those amuse your treats and being able to interact I think the more I can do that the more affordable I can make it and the more people I can interact with in a assist so it's really just kind of doing what I'm doing now but honing it into a more streamlined method that's easier to work with and that I can make more accessible to people recommend three books you need to you know hit me the five what three books would you recommend for someone picks up if they were interested in getting into spirituality in your work and they don't have any any experience in that I would I'm gonna grab the books actually okay so I got three good books for beginners first one is the one I hope most people know it's got me into spirituality in a lot of levels most people into spirituality it's here now which I'm sure you read it from dust very accessible absolutely transformative the pictures help a lot when you don't know anything about what he's talking about if you're brand new to it and the good thing about being here now is that the more your practice evolves the more you can go back to it and it's like you're reading a completely different book because you're starting to drop into the paradigm on which he's speaking and you start to see it in a new light it's really powerful because another good books is called your Airness stones by Wayne Dyer this is like an old copy Wayne Dao is a really great teacher you'd a few years ago it's called yeah your Airness zones and it's it's really based on a lot of what I study in psychology is called rebt therapy rational emotive real therapy it's basically working with the cognitions of your mind and understanding how you are misrepresenting reality and situations to yourself by how you perceive it how you speak about it and how you feel about it and it's very easy to really control completely your emotional Vantage in your logical Vantage on reality and transform it completely by understanding how you speak of it in how you perceive it specifically so this book is by Wayne Dyer it's a really good introductory book to that philosophy and that psychology that psychological information he basically one of the criticisms of the book is that it's it's based on our DBT therapy which was created by Albert Ellis but Wayne Dyer didn't reference Albert Ellis at all in the book and didn't like say this is re Beatty therapy and like a few years later once psychologists were kind of like everything you said in that book was was from dr. Ellis she was like yeah that's where the inspiration came from so it took them a while to admit it but regardless it's an amazing book with a lot of great information for beginners to kind of understand their own unconscious actions or to change their conscious actions and it can help them start to understand their own psychology which is really important to do you know whether or not we're spiritual doesn't matter if we don't understand why we think the way we do and why we act the way we do on a psychological level it doesn't matter how much we meditate it doesn't matter we have to understand why we speak to ourselves in certain ways why we think in certain ways and how we can change those into healthy methods of speaking and acting and then my third book which is the only book I keep on my altar is the story of the Guru in which the lineage I'm initiated in it's called the gospel of Shri Ramakrishna and this this is Ramakrishna so that's him he was an indian saint to jeevan mukti liberated being who live in the 1800s and everything he taught was basically non dual Vedanta which is that everything is one all is one masquerading is multiplicity everything is just the divine playing out in different forms and that we are not separate from that we are do then be incarnate and we can realize that and a big thing he taught which was really transformative thing about it in the 1800s is that all religions are correct every religion is a path to God if you're practicing it purely it's a path the truth to personal liberation and to freedom from suffering if you're practicing purely so this is a book you know he had no Dogma he had no caste or creed that he was against her for he was a very just a pure soul floating in and trying to show people that no matter where you're from or who you are male/female religion or no religion you can awaken through devotion and through selfless service and through realizing the divinity that's right in front of you and so he never wrote a book so this whole book was written by one of his devotees after he died so it's just a collection of his lessons and his teachings throughout his life and they're really potent and really powerful and they're full of truth which is the power you can read this and it transcends time it feels like something that would be evident in today's world but it's from the 1800s that's just how truth works when it says no matter how long ago it was spoken it still resonates in any timeframe possible because it's truth so well the gospel of Shri Ramakrishna it's very powerful because you should be here now and it's like Peter now is like Ron Dawson's like a disciple of neem karoli baba yeah and then it created that book you know like it's like it's very similar to the pickup via the third one it sounds really interesting and funny enough Wayne and his daughter is gonna be on this podcast next month yeah I think I might because they're posting some retreats something or doing something like that so I wanted to kind of pick her brain about it and actually ask her about her father but I think I'll probably read that before before speaking with her because I think it'll put me in a good place but it sounds like that book is like a it's like an operating manual for the human technological brain you know like it's it's like the psychology aspect loose but not a lot like the human being is a technology and we're born without an operating manual we're just like here you go good luck you know so it's good it needs a neat book then I guess I'll check it out the best-selling books of all time I think it's sold like 30 35 40 million copies it's crap but yeah it's no human psychology is its it can if you go really deep into it it can be really complicated but on the base level there's really simple fundamental things that once we understand completely shift how we see and think and be make it much more efficient like you said a user manual doesn't have to be a million page there can be two pages and once you memorize that two pages you got it you can you can build the desk you know you get IKEA set you get five pages and you build it it works so this book is really good at kind of deducing and making those things simple making you realize like he calls it your Airness zones the zones in your life in which you're working through erroneously you're making errors in it you're doing it incorrectly and here's how you can fix that or change that thank you I appreciate it so much appreciate everything you do on YouTube and Instagram and I'm sure we'll chat again sometime soon curiosity you're starting a podcast yourself I had a podcast for a few months like two and a half years ago before it really took off well I don't know you know I'm very big to be in my own intuition and if I don't feel called to something I don't force myself into it and I think it's just because I create so many videos you know I create three to four videos a week and they're all you know attended sometimes 20 minutes long so not only is there not time but I just didn't feel I didn't enjoy it you know the way a lot of people do I mean a lot of people enjoy podcast and I like being on podcast this is always fun to me I love going deep into philosophy and having discussions but for me it was almost like undertaking I didn't feel called to to create my own podcast it was just a lot and you know maybe one day I'll revisit it but right now I've got a lot of other things that are like really calling to me and then I feel drawn to and so that's where my focus is right now get that free feeling of like alright well what about one point one point two yeah I'll send you messages moments if that's you have a link to it definitely Sharon cool thanks again

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